Fear: Regaining Control
Sometimes finding courage is the hardest thing to do. Something that I’m afraid of is rejection from my peers. I’m terrified that people won’t like my personality–something that I couldn’t change even if I wanted to (and believe me I have tried). This fear has prevented me from partaking in incredible opportunities and events. I found that it was easier to stay alone and at home in my one-bedroom apartment. After all, didn’t I get a one-bedroom apartment because I was rejected by people I thought would want to live with me? Didn’t I refuse to meet with anyone else in fear of being rejected again?
I let fear consume me and eventually, the loneliness caught up with me. And even still, I was afraid of talking to people in class and try to make friends. Why? Because it was easier for me to choose to be alone than to be forced to be alone because no one wants you. And maybe that’s why I never found a place that I belonged. I was too afraid of being rejected that I prevented myself from finding a group of friends that love and respect me.
But when I started the publishing program at Centennial College, I told myself that I wouldn't let this fear hold me back. I make myself find thirty seconds of blind courage and go for it. I’ve been trying to force myself to interact with different people and get to know them. I brought out my outgoing side that my anxious introverted self has hid from the world. And the result was the life changing.
My willingness to be involved had gotten me enough recognition to get nominated and voted into being one of my publishing program’s class representatives. And that gave me the confidence and the courage to apply for an executive position on my program's magazine On the Danforth. And that courage was so rewarding in the end because I was offered the position of Creative Director. Now I have an amazing opportunity to help my peers learn something I'm extremely passionate abou–design.